Hurricane Helene and Woody Gap
At the beginning of May 2024, I drove from Biloxi, Mississipi to Crestview, Florida to Palm Beach and back to Crestview and then up to Talladega, Alabama to Dahlonega, Georgia to Franklin and Asheville, North Carolina before staying at Woodshole in Pearisburg, Virginia. Not to get into conspiracy theories about weather modification, but Keesler Air Force Base in Biloxi, Mississippi and Naval Air Station Pensacola weren’t too far from Hurricane Helene, but somehow Hurricane Helene headed straight for Woody Gap like it followed my white Woody hat, hence #WhereIsWoody.
I’ve been getting to know the backcountry of Appalachia for almost six years now, and I used to weekend hike western Virginia when I was stationed in Virginia Beach as a United States Marine. I love Virginia, but my love for Virginia is like like my love for Ohio, which is odd, because technically Ohio was at one point Virginia territory. I guess you could say if West Virginia was western Virginia, then Ohio was western West Virginia, and that was supposed to be a West Virginia joke that fell flat like arguing between soda and pop. Virginia is for lovers, or at least that’s the state’s slogan; meanwhile, Ohio is shaped like a heart, and unfortunately, I haven’t been to Appalachia as much as I’ve wanted to while living in Ohio.
Truth be told, I’ve been sort of landlocked in Columbus, Ohio, and even though I have explored much of Ohio, I must admit I don’t know Ohio like I know Virginia. Yes, I know Columbus better than Washington DC, and I know Washington DC isn’t Virginia, but it’s Virginia, because it sure as hell isn’t Maryland even though the land was once Maryland. I actually don’t know Washington DC extremely well, but I lived in Hagerstown, Maryland for about six months and Virginia Beach for about six years, so I’ve been to Washington DC dozens of times. Virginia Beach is positioned in such a way that I pretty much had to drive through all of Virginia to get back to Ohio or Illinois, so I either went south and west before going north or north and east before going west.
I know the entire stretch of the Appalachia Trail from Georgia to Maine pretty well, but I’ve hiked much of the Virginia portion multiple times, especially since my brother lives within a fifteen minute drive of Annapolis Rock. I’ve hiked from Maryland to West Virginia and into Virginia multiple times, because it’s a perfect week-long hike unless you’re trying to hike fifty miles in one day, and then it’s a perfect twenty-four hour hike. I was hurt during this portion of my thru-hike, so I wasn’t able to hike that distance until Vermont. Needless to say, I’ve traveled the country coast to coast multiple times. I have traveled to many mountain towns, and I’d have to say Estes Park, Colorado and Lincoln, New Hampshire are two of the prettiest towns in America, and you could throw a Vermont town or two into the mix, but it’s difficult living in small mountain towns.
I love Demascus, Virginia, and I’d move there tomorrow if the town had a gym, and a place for me to work. I suppose I could started a gym in Demascus, and maybe I will some day, but small mountain towns are missing a lot of amenities of city life, but they provide amenities the city life cannot bring like silence. Is it a coincidence Hurricane Helene follow the Artist General's early May path from the Florida panhandle to Georgia, North Carolina, and Virginia? Or was the hurricane modified to follow the Artist General's white hat Woody?
Well, the Artist General was bouncing around between Keesler Air Force Base, Pensacola Air Station, and Eglin Air Force Base? Why? What units specialize in weather and avionics at these bases? Is it a coincidence? How many votes did Joe Biden get during the 2020 Election? What does 81 million votes have to the 81st Training Wing and my license plates being HAQ 816? Are you sure that Hurricane Helene wasn't following my license plate? If you really want your mind-blown, Google I-81 and look at the Hurricane Helene path. #LookAtAMap Insert mind-blown emoji here.
