I was working out at Planet Fitness on a Saturday morning when I caught a glimpse of my Marine Corps buddy Aaron Silton on the Golf Channel’s segment about the role of golf in his transition from Sergeant Silton to golf professional. It’s funny, I didn’t know he played golf until years after his medical retirement when he told me at another [Marine] brother’s wedding that he taught golf. But hearing one of my war heroes’ slurred speech on television was almost as surreal as when I visited him at Bethesda after he was shot in the jaw and through his wired shut jaw he slurred, “I need to get back. I am going kill them.”
In all honesty, NBC Universal did a descent job portraying Sergeant Silton, his anger towards those who shot him, and his desire to seek vengeance. Unfortunately or fortunately, there are some Marines who serve in an entirely different realm, and Aaron was such a motivated, disciplined, and locked-in Marine that the Recon Instructors called him Ricky Recon long after he graduated Basic Reconnaissance Course. Aaron loved the United State Marine Corps more than any Marine I’ve ever known, and he had zero intention of doing anything else. Even though a sniper shot through the jaw that legally killed him twice could NOT take him to the afterlife, the sniper did kill Aaron’s Marine Corps career. They don’t call us devil dogs for no reason. Of course, he’s technically retired and still a Marine, but he was robbed of his twenty or thirty years of service like I was robbed of my twenty or thirty years of service. Now Aaron lives his life as a golf professional and teacher like I live my life as a writer and political scientist. Of course, Aaron doesn’t know how much he inspired me and impacted my life as a Marine and veteran, but one day I find the words.
Aaron Silton was in my first book Wartime Memoirs of Drunken Debauchery, but I used pseudonyms for everyone, even in the Acknowledgements, so I highly doubt anyone knew it was him. Looking back, I wasn’t ready to publish my first two books, but I was trying to fulfill my destiny as a writer and buy the woman [I loved] a ring, so I prematurely published my first two books. What happened to the woman? Prematurely is the perfect adverb, because I had not matured enough as a writer or a man, so she’s married to another man. Anyway, Aaron could see my childhood trauma through my behavior and language, and Aaron knew I wouldn’t progress personally or professionally until I healed. I think I was 22 and he was 19, but Aaron had the insight to know it then. I just knew he was in great shape, always looked good in uniform, always ran and swam, and he was always motivated about life. So I started following Aaron’s lead, running, swimming, and lifting weights every day.
Everyone stereotypes Marines as being in one kind of shape, phenomenal shape. This is not the case whatsoever, and overweight Marines are more common than you think. There are Marines that can run 6 miles within the maximum 3-mile run time standards, and there are Marines that can do 90 pull-ups when the minimum requirement is 3. Aaron inspired me to become the quickest I possibly could and the strongest I possibly could with unmatched stamina and endurance; so much so, I thru-hiked the 2,200 miles of the Appalachian Trail from George to Maine in 2019. Let me tell you, thru-hiking the Appalachian Trail was definitely more physically, mentally, and spiritually demanding than Marine Corps Recruit training.
Needless to say, Sergeant Silton made Sergeant Brdecka. Even though I was awarded the Navy and Marine Corps Commendation Medal for my work as a curriculum developer and chief instructor and Sergeant Silton was awarded the Navy and Marine Corps Commendation Medal for his heroics in combats, Sergeant Silton was and is my war hero like I know I am other’s war hero.
Thinking about my heroes, while working out at Planned Fitness redirected my thoughts to other men and women I try to emulate or hold in high esteem, so I started thinking about golf in my life. Last spring, I sold my condo on the 9th hole of Honey Bee Golf Course in Virginia Beach and felt a myriad of mixed emotions, because I expected to at least retire to golf course condo in Virginia Beach. I mean, if I retired to a 1300 square foot condo in Virginia Beach, how bad could life be? Unfortunately, after I got out the Marine Corps, I moved back to Columbus, Ohio to finish my undergraduate work at The Ohio State University, and once I lived in Columbus for 7 years, I lost the love affair with my condo. In total, I rented out my condo for 8 years and sold it after owning it for 12 total years. Originally when I moved into the condo, I was playing 4-5 rounds of golf per week, and I thought about walking on to The Ohio State University golf team, because I was shooting in the 70’s often, so it was definitely a possibility. But one shoulder injury lead to a surgery and then the one surgery lead to another shoulder injury, and I have more or less quit golf since 2013.
It’s not that I don’t love golf. I do. However, I expect to shoot the 78 at the Montgomerie in Dubai every time. I expect to boom 350 yards drives every time. I expect to hit hole-in-ones from 205 yards with a 5 iron every time. I expect to hole-in bunker shots every time. I know how good I can be, and it frustrates me I cannot be that good repeatedly. The joy of golf left my soul, because I listened to God’s calling for me. I am a writer and a warrior for Christ. My words lead people to God like a literary fisher of men. But unlike golf, which came easily, reading and writing were my worst subjects in school, and I struggled immensely with reading comprehension and grammar, which was always camouflaged by my phenomenal standardized test-taking skills. It took decades of practice, but I learned how to control my emotions in order to read and write from training, practicing, and playing golf.
I remember the first time I picked up a golf club at Maryville Golf Academy nearly 30 years ago like it happened yesterday. I walked into the Maryville gym to workout a little and play basketball. As I write, I can smell the gym’s floor as I hear the gym lights turn on as I see the lights turn on the maize and blue Maryville gym floor. Maryville Academy has evolved over time, but Maryville is the 21st Century version of a Catholic orphanage that assists mothers and fathers healing from their own live’s troubles to become better parents with the ultimate goal of reuniting healing children with their families. Maryville was like Hogwarts for abused and neglect children, so it had a chapel, two gyms, a golf facility, pool, soccer, softball and baseball fields with two fishing ponds and multiple bike trails. Unfortunately, some children are never reunited with their parents who cannot heal from their own trauma to make lifestyle changes in order to become a happy and healthy parents. I was one of those children.
The pity card is always thrown out when I talk about my childhood, and I am sick of it. My childhood was amazing, and the only reason why I ever thought otherwise was because I compared my childhood and my life to everyone else’s. I am beyond blessed to have had Father Smyth and Father Ryan in my life. I am blessed to have had all the Maryville family educators in my life. I am blessed to have had all the volunteers in my life. And I am blessed to have had all the Maryville donors. But most of all, I am blessed to have Juan Espejo and the Maryville Golf Academy in my life. And I felt like an utter failure when I withdrew from classes at The Ohio State University to enlist in the United States Marine Corps, because the Maryville Golf Academy donors were paying for my education, but after nearly a decade in the United State Marine Corps, I went back to Columbus, Ohio to finish what I started.
At the beginning, the Maryville Golf Academy was a bunch of cheap driving range mats and nets with a primitive putting and chipping area for whiffle golfballs, but it attracted me away from the basketball courts where I was always picked-on to the golf facility to a short Cuban man. I think I was eleven or twelve at the time, but we were pretty much the same height. Don’t let Juan’s stature fool you. He walks among giants. Juan greeted me with the smile he always has, and it wasn’t long before he cut a few clubs and regripped them just for me. And then Juan gave me my first lesson, and I was hooked. It wasn’t long before I was hitting golf balls every afternoon after school until the gym closed around 9 pm. After a few weeks, Juan started taking a couple of us kids to Sunset Ridge and Rob Roy to play golf with Mr. Gleason and the Rourkes.
I was a natural. God blessed me with a Rory McIlroy swing, but I was a bigger spaz than Rory’s Master’s meltdown. On one hole, I’d shoot a birdie or par, and on the next hole, I'd shoot a 12. However, over time I learned to control my emotions and settle down. I remember my brother getting interested, because I wasn’t playing basketball anymore. Before long, my brother joined me learning about life from Juan Espejo. I remember those long summer nights of playing 9 holes and then fishing until the sunset. There’s nothing like golfing and fishing. My father fished with John and me, and that was about one of the only things he taught us that was positive for our lives. Juan, my brother, and I golfed and fished nonstop for a summer, and it was one of the best summers of my childhood. Juan really did become like a father to John and me just like Father Smyth became a father to John and me.
When we were teenagers, John and I moved away from Maryville, but we still kept in contact and Juan would fight like hell to get us to play golf. I remember bringing golf clubs on the train to play golf in Chicago multiple times. But my favorite was the Illinois Open Pro-Amateurs when our professional golfer was Juan. We never came close to winning, but I loved each and every tournament I played-in. Golf became more difficult to play away from the Maryville Golf Academy, and I remember getting a golf cart to tow behind our bikes to practice and play at Cantigny Golf Club when I wasn’t caddying. Whether it was Rolling Green, Glen Oak, or Cantigny, I loved caddying. Of course, I didn’t always enjoy the rude and angry golfers, and the ones that treated twelve and thirteen year olds like trash, but caddying was a crash course in the business world.
I loved Cantigny Golf Club. I would ride my bike and clubs there and stay from 7:30 in the morning to about 4:00 or 5:00 in the afternoon putting and chipping. I couldn’t afford to pay for range balls, and I could only afford $14 for 9 holes a couple days a week. But chipping and putting was free, so I chipped and I putted. And the best was when Juan would drive out to Wheaton from Des Plaines to play Cantigny with John and me. Eventually, I was good enough to make the Wheaton North Golf Team, and I played in a couple tournaments. And then Juan sponsored a weeklong golf camp in the middle of nowhere on the Illinois-Iowa border, I think. And that was a blast. All we did was practice and play golf all week long. I’ll never forget all the immature high school golf jokes about strokes, shafts, balls, and head being shared at golf camp like American Pie’s band camp jokes. This one time at golf camp. Then the same day my father’s rights were terminated, I shot a 48 and was cut from the Wheaton North Golf Team. And even though I played golf here and there, it wasn’t until I deployed to the middle east when I truly realized how good I was.
After high school, I enrolled at The Ohio State University to study architecture, which became history and Spanish, which became philosophy and political science, which became enlisting in the United States Marine Corps. At my second duty station, I deployed to the middle east aboard the USS Iwo Jima, and we floated to Dubai where I decided to play in a golf tournament at The Montgomerie for the Marines and sailors on ship. I think we payed $100 each for club rentals, lunch, golf, and dinner. And let me tell you something, that $100 could not have been better spent. The club rentals were brand new Ping irons with Big Bertha woods, and the lunch was the best salad I every had in my life. How’d the golf go? Well, I had been struggling with swaying my hips too much for years, but for one round, I hit square. Somehow I also was paired up with a ringer who shot a 73, while I shot a 78, and we lost the tournament to some handicap sandbaggers. Yes, I shot a 78 at The Montgomerie from the tips without having played golf in 3 years. Even though I have shot subpar that was undoubtedly the best round of my life.
When my body gave out, and the decision to leave the United States Marine Corps was made for me, I trained to walk-on The Ohio State University’s golf team, Jack Nicklaus’ alma mater, my alma mater. But like I said, my body gave out, so I had to make various health decisions. Golf hurt my shoulders, and I valued lifting weights and being in top physical shape to be more important than golf. But most importantly, my decision to follow God’s plan for me. I never thought about being a professional caddy, but professional caddies make bank. Hell, top professional caddies make more money than teaching and club pros. And when I finally graduated from The Ohio State University, I thought about using my GI Bill to enroll in a golf academy, but that was not God’s plan for me. God blessed me with a Tiger Woods swing, but he put me at the podium of the Maryville Chapel every Sunday with my little brother John to read God’s word, and now John is a librarian, and I am a writer.
After finishing my bachelor of arts in political science at The Ohio State University, I didn’t waste time reflecting on accomplishing a dream that I put on hold to begun graduate work in adult education and human resource development at my alma mater. Even though I loved my graduate school program, my calling was to return to undergrad to study a second bachelor’s in English with minors in creative writing and linguistics. One day, I may finish my schoolwork at The Ohio State University, but I am developing a new education system, which will render the traditional American educational system obsolete, so I haven’t decided if the degrees are important to me. All in all, I spent over nine years at The Ohio State University studying what seems to be nonsensical studies from a disjointed mind. However, I was following God’s plan for me.
When I was at Maryville, I had multiple people tell me I was going to be president one day. I had teachers tell me I was going to be president one day. In fact, I had multiple Marines tell me I would on day be president. Of course, even though I didn’t believe I stood a chance in hell of becoming President of the United States, I customized my education and career as a Marine to assist in the plan to go from the [Dennis] White House to the White House. At the time, I loved saying I lived at the White House, but I guess that’s when my study of John F Kennedy began. I still can’t believe my adventures took me to Dallas where he was assassinated. Anyway, I remember reading book after book about JFK and his assassination. Man, I was a JFK Democrat through and through. I was a JFK Democrat until I saw Lyndon Baines Johnson laugh in Jackie’s face, and then I stopped being a Democrat, but that took years of sifting through their propaganda
Now, I have served in the United States Marine Corps. I have travel to Washington DC. I have lived in Washington DC. I have lived in the mountains above Washington DC. From March of 2019 until June of 2022, I thru-hiked the Appalachian Trail from George to Maine and did two east coast west coast roadtrips and two north coast and south coast roadtrips. I investigated politicians. I investigated politicians. I took photographs. I took videos. I took notes. Knowledge is power, so it’s not what you know; it’s who works the most in the least amount of time. Money isn’t even in the physics of power. Money. Money. Money. I need money badly, but God takes care of me. God has always taken care of me. God has moved mountains for me.
I am like forty, and I have a six pack. I owe my abs to God. I had to learn the hard way about everything, but I learned. God taught me what to eat. God taught me how to work out. And now, I even pray The Lord’s Prayer at the gym. Yes, I go to the gym every day, because I went to the gym as a child, and whether I was playing golf or working out, I still went to the gym every day. I learned that from Ed Strabel, and I learned that from Juan Espejo. Did Juan teach me how to eat and work out to have abs at forty? No, but he did teach me to have the discipline and dedication. It’s the same dedicated I learned from Aaron Silton. It’s the same dedication I did not learn from my father, which scarred my mind like a psychological prison, so I write my way out of the psychological prison through art, which I learned from therapy.
Father Smith’s Standing TALL Foundation is deeply rooted in the foundations of The Artistic Lifestyle or TAL. The Artistic Lifestyle’s ultimate purpose to take any abused, neglected, abandoned, and raped children, and give them the knowledge, skills, and training to live day to life and learn for life, while also giving them the education to successfully develop their own brand to glorify God. If we are to break the cycles of abuse, we must heal the children, heal the parents, and heal the family using masculine and feminine spirituality. I sought to heal my father, but in order for me to learn how to do that, I had to first infect myself with my father’s disease, which took a surprisingly large amount of beer. I didn’t get my first withdrawals until I was 36 years old, but it took me a few years to quit drinking. I had to know. I just had to know why my dad didn’t love me, so I found out, and I couldn’t escape. But God saved me like God always saves me. But I had to physiologically and psychologically be in my father’s shoes in order to know how to help him get out. When I say “him” I mean any father and any son fighting our family curse.
Aaron Silton is a lot bigger than Juan Espejo, but Juan is a giant when it comes to changing children’s lives. Even though Maryville has had its trials and tribulations over the past decade, I wish there could be a Golf Channel piece about another one of my heroes, Mr Juan Espejo. No matter the weather, whether it was hot or cold, dry or wet, Juan was always there for us kids. No matter how bad our days were, Juan was always there to go for a walk to talk about life, stopping every couple hundred yards to swing an iron or standing on the green in silence, listening to God’s birds and savoring God’s blessings.
Thank you Juan for always being there for my brother and me. Thank you for being there for Aaron and Roger. Thank you for being there when none of our fathers could be. I do not know where I would be without Maryville Golf Academy. I don’t know where I would be without the donors. I don’t know where I would be without Juan. All I have to say is Father Smyth taught me to stand tall and be bigger than life, so if God put me in the Dennis White House and gave me toys from Marines, then I’m going to listen to God’s angels guarding me and join the Marine Corps and pursue the White House. I will never quit because God blessed me with Maryville Eagles, or God’s Angels as I like to call them, and God made me a warrior for the orphaned.
Thank you for reading, please donate to Maryville Academy: https://maryvilleacademy.org/donatevolunteer/ways-to-give/