What do I want to be when I grow up? I wanted to become a Marine, so I served my country for nearly a decade. What do I want to be when I grow up? I wanted to be a Buckeye, so I enrolled at The Ohio State University for nearly ten years preparing myself for the presidency. What do I want to be when I grow up? I wanted to be a writer, so I started Brdman.com and published Wartime Memoirs of Drunken Debauchery and Booger Platoon. What do I want to be when I grow up? I want to be a MAGA asset.
Or do I want to be a MAGA agent? What sounds better MAGA agent or MAGA asset? Agent sounds like the FBI, but asset sounds like the CIA. I don’t know. Considering I drove around and investigated politicians, organizations and corporations in a Mini Cooper during 2020 like a MAGA asset, clearly I didn’t sit around and wait for a MAGA asset position to open up on LinkedIn to investigate LinkedIn and Windows. I took extreme initiative and went to Sunnyvale, California and took photos of LinkedIn’s Nazi blue footprints on the ground. Why? #FollowTheNaziBlue Knowledge is power, so like Tom Hanks took photos of children’s gloves and boots, I took selfies of me wearing my white Woody hat in front of Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn to made it easy for the AI snake to follow me like Jiri Brdecka’s Spring Man and the SS into Woody’s Andy boot. I use the hashtag #WhereIsWoody, so everyone remembers my white Woody hat like there is a snake in my boot. In other words, I am #1Hacker, and I took selfies wearing a white Woody to prove to Alex Jones white hats exist.Speaking of Nazis and the CIA snakes, did you know Woody Harrelson’s father confessed to shooting John F Kennedy? Did you know it wasn’t the kill shot? Did you know they put a placard right on top of where the shot came from the sewer? How do I know there’s a placard right on top? I ran to the Texas School Book Depository from the hotel at CPAC Texas, and I investigated the 1963 assassination in 2022. Like I said, knowledge is power; why do you think I investigated the Las Vegas shooting in 2020? Why do you think I went to the Black Lives Matter murals from DC to St Paul to Denver to Seattle and San Francisco in 2020?
I gather intelligence, write, plan, and pray. Then I war game, edit, rewrite, and pray. Rinse and repeat all day, every day like I am the Jason Bourne version of whatever I am. Alex Jones says there weren’t white hats running around the country, and I literally drove around the country in a Mini Cooper wearing a white Woody hat. Speaking of which, I am little sick and tired of Alex Jones chastising my work. His fat ass sits behind a desk and talks to a camera everyday. Meanwhile, I have missions like go to New York City to investigate BlackRock, Rockefeller Plaza, Central Park, and the UN (United Nazis). I also had to pray at Trump Tower before the President returned to New York. That sounds like an easy mission, and I knew they were on to me, so I didn’t wear a white hat, but I shaved my head bald before New York and Philadelphia, which are the only cities I missed during 2020. Why? Well, they sent a demonically possessed Democrat assassin to my Motel 6 in Albany, and I walked as close to him as I did Vincent Fusca at CPAC. I saw the demon’s eyes, and I shut the door behind me, and I got out of there. I came back down ten minutes later and the hotel clerk was shot. Democrats and Republicans can factcheck everything I say, hence #FactCheckBirdBox.
https://www.timesunion.com/news/article/Security-guard-shot-after-motel-robbery-in-17266423.php
I wanted to be a MAGA asset, so I travelled the country and investigated politicians, corporations, and organizations to write articles and books about those politicians, corporations, and organizations, while I fine tuned my findings from notes, photographs, and videos into court admissible evidence and counter-propaganda to simultaneously gather evidence, conduct investigations, create art, revolutionize science, and press release our findings. After spending 2020-2021 investigating politicians, corporations, and organizations, I have begun publishing my work on Substack. Naturally, each article contains pieces of evidence like breadcrumbs to lead investigators to the bread thieves.
I investigated the Black Lives Matter riots in DC, Columbus, Kenosha, Minneapolis-St Paul, Denver, Seattle, and San Francisco. How many of these cities have seven hills? I went to their black magic murals and prayed Matthew 6:9-13. I investigated their city halls. I investigate their state capitols. I investigated it all, so if “we” don’t have it all Alex Jones; at least, I have it all. Why do you think I was in San Francisco on Election Day after having climbed Mount Diablo?Then I investigated Google, Windows, Oracle, Facebook, Twitter, and even 23andMe, and I prayed Matthew 6:9-13. Why 23andMe? #Matthew23v33 Look at map. I investigated them before, during, and after the election. I investigated them before, during, and after January 6th.
I investigated the witches that hold black masses in Golden Gate Park when it gets dark, and you can hear the children scream until the screams are drowned by sirens. There’s even a prayer cross from which these sick pedos abduct children. #LookAtAMap Did you know the fire department and police departments turn on their sirens to camouflage children’s screams? Yeah, they rape, torture, and sacrifice children right there in Golden Gate Park. Of course, the grounds keepers clean up everything except for a shoe or hat like souvenirs from one of Tom Hank’s Instagram pics. Why do you think the Silicon Valley Nazis and San Francisco pedo-Nazis tried to kill me in January of 2021? I have pictures. I have videos. I took an injection to the neck, and I almost died, and then they almost got me again in Sacramento and leaving California. But don’t worry Alex Jones there aren’t people running around wearing white hats; I was literally wearing a white hat.
Speaking of Tom Hanks and California, there are underground tunnels all around the hills and mountains high above San Francisco, and there’s always Tom Hanks Instagram relics left behind like Eric Swalwell and his wife’s empty bottles. #WeThePeople have it all. Why does Eric Swallowswell nickname his son Hank, Alex Jones? Unfortunately, all of his children have fetal alcohol syndrome, because his wife drank through all her pregnancies. Now, I know this information doesn’t seem particularly beneficial, but bring up alcohol and family to an alcoholic at the right time, and they explode like Nancy Pelosi after half a bottle of scotch, because Paul Pelosi loves DePape’s hammer. Where is Nancy’s laptop anyway? #WhereIsMyLaptop I don’t know, but I know all of the San Francisco Bay from San Jose to San Francisco to Oakland to Concord Walnut Creek. I know Clayton, California better than Tom Hanks knows Concord and Eric Swalwell knows California’s 14th Congressional District. Hell, I was in front of San Francisco City Hall on Election Day 2020. President Trump would have won California were not the voter and election fraud in Nancy Pelosi and Maxine Water’s districts. How do I know? The MAGA Asset was there. The evidence is on city surveillance cameras, and these democrats will do it again in 2024, so…if any Democrat or Republican or big tech Nazis or ALEX JONES wants to factcheck me, you can see me everywhere wearing a white Woody hat.
What do I offer the MAGA movement? Well, I was a Marine who held a TS SCI security clearance, but I am ten times more bad ass than I ever was a Marine. First of all, I have better abs, and after having The Situation like my tweet about my abs, I decided to name them The MAGA Asset. I am smarter, wiser, and more disciplined. Effectively, with my knowledge and skills in political neuroscience and adult learning, I reprogramed my brain, and used my knowledge and skills to reverse engineer the Silicon Valley Nazi’s programing. Why do you think I thru-hiked the Appalachian Trail from George to Maine in 2019? Why do you think I drove around the country in a Mini Cooper, while I investigated my past, the present, and prayed for the future in 2020? How do I know about all of Swalwell’s children having fetal alcohol syndrome? No seriously, I don’t want to talk badly about congressmen’s children, but they are all poster children of fetal alcohol syndrome, and then Mr. and Mrs. Swalwell take Instagram pictures with wine glasses in their hands and poster children for fetal alcohol syndrome. Should we call child protective services? It’s disgusting. These people are sick.
What’s a MAGA Asset? I gather intelligence, write, plan, war game, rewrite. I go to protests like a ghost and conduct reconnaissance dressed like Antifa and BLM. Yeah, even though I wear a white Woody hat, all my clothing and gear camouflage with Antifa and BLM, but I also carry a black Patogonia hat, so I can disappear. I can live on the road. I can live in the woods. I can be on top of mountains, and in cities at the same time. I can be in DC and San Francisco at the same time. Why do you think I was in California for January 6th. As a MAGA asset in training, I went to CPAC, but MAGA assets go to CPAC, TPUSA, and Trump rallies canvasing ideas ideas. Of course, I am a trained political scientist and counter propagandist, so I’m strategically running my mouth, but most of my time is spent listening, and being a ghost. Of course, aside from my Substack about being The MAGA Asset, no one will know I’m a MAGA asset until they read my Substack, so I don’t exist like ghost recon. I gather intelligence, write, plan, war game, and rewrite. I recruit MAGA assets, MAGA Democrats, and MAGA Republicans. I travel from Miami to DC from DC to Denver from Denver to Austin, from Austin to Atlanta from Atlanta to Destin. I know I can live on the road, because I lived on the road. I know I can be a MAGA Asset, because I am a MAGA asset. I want everyone to know my face but not my name. I want to know Majorie Taylor Greene’s constituents better than Marjorie Taylor Greene. I want to know Matt Gaetz’s constituents better than Matt Gaetz. I want to be President Trumps and the MAGA movement eyes and ears. I investigated Marjorie Taylor Greene like I investigated Matt Gaetz or should I say tried to investigate Matt Gaetz. Being single in Destin after Covid lockdowns was eye opening. Anyway, I drove from Destin to Ft Walton every day except when I stayed with a friend in Panama City for a month. I went up to Marjorie Taylor Greene’s neck of the woods, and I prayed Matthew 6:9-13 at the George Guidestones. But the longest trip was to The Mar-a-Lago Club on June 4th where I prayed Matthew 6:9-13 like I prayed at multiple Trump Towers.
Mr President, one of your fine security guards approached me at Trump Tower in Manhattan, and he interrupted my prayer. Forgive him Mr. President, he was just doing his job, and I was just doing mine, praying. But like always Mr. President, you can factcheck me, but I wasn’t wearing the white Woody hat. I was bald and wearing white Versace aviators. I stopped by Trump Tower after investigating the United Nazis and the Chase Bank Nazis.
I’ll explain what I mean by “Nazis” in subsequent The Revolution Substacks.
Personally, I am kicking around the idea of The MAGA Asset Substack. It would be kind of cool marketing tool for future MAGA assets, while simultaneously teaching and training future MAGA assets. Of course, after a few years, I will no longer have any anonymity whatsoever, because I plan on publishing 52 books in 52 weeks to wage psychological warfare on the CIA induced cult ideologies known as liberalism and Marxism. Some people think their minds cannot be saved; I believe their minds can be saved; I believe their souls can be saved. Yes Mr. President, these are sick, sick people, but these our sick, sick people. These people are sick. #WeThePeopleAreTheCure
What was Operation Warp Speed really about Mr. President? Why are you still proud of Operation Warp Speed? You needed a cure for our sick, sick people. Literary shock therapy is the cure. What did you have in mind Mr. President, The American Holocaust Trilogy or Operation Bookzkrieg as your cures for mental libertardation? Serious quesion, because mental libtardation is a scientific term. I am such a good MAGA asset, I am writing them both and giving you an option. Does Roger Stone have a solution for Operation Warp Speed? Does Laura Looper have a way to pivot to Nuremberg 2.0? Does anyone on your staff have a plan for Nuremberg 2.0? Because I have it all.
Alex Jones claims white hats driving around the country in Mini Coopers like Jason Bourne wearing white Woody hats hacking Yuval Noah Harari, Klaus Schwab, and Bill Gates the way Yuval Noah Harari claims to have hacked humans. I don’t hack passwords; I hack programmers, their programing language, and their AI. Why do you think I went to Silicon Valley to take photos after my yearlong siege during 2020? Why do you think I went to Silicon Valley to take photos and videos before, during, and after the 2020 Election, and before, during, and after January 6th? The Silicon Valley Nazis can factcheck me by checking their security camras. I wasn’t waving “hi” to Google. I was waiving “bye” Felecia.
Alex Jones claims there aren’t white knights and white hat wizards and hackers wearing white hats saving America. I beg to differ. It’s just the Silicon Valley Nazis, Democrats, UN, Church of Satan, and Temple of Set are too blind to see what #WhereIsWoody even means, but I have personally have it all, because I was there wearing my white Woody hat and praying Matthew 6:9-13.